Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice-Teaching Independence

One of my son's favorite television shows is Max and Ruby. Perhaps you have heard of it. It's based on a book series about a rambunctious three year old bunny and his older sister--the ever responsible seven year old who is trying to keep him out of trouble. On a side note: I believe Max is my son's personal mentor on new ways to get into trouble. Anyway, I've noticed before that there are no parents in this cartoon. Occasionally the grandma comes to visit and sometimes the "bunny scout leader" is around. I thought at first that the parents were in the background. Like in the other room or something while the kids played (like the non-speaking parents in Charlie Brown). But the other day, when Ruby, you know, the responsible SEVEN year old was putting Max to bed and he kept getting up, I realized the parents are never around.

Are they working all the time? Did they go to Mr. McGregor's to bring back some dinner and never came home? Are they busy with their hundred other children? Where are the parents?

Maybe it's different in bunny families. Maybe children are independent at the age of seven. I realized this was a great teaching moment for my children. "Wow, look at that seven year old. She puts her little brother to bed, makes dinner, plays with him, and keeps the house clean." I think my subtle messages are working. By the end of the year my children will be ready to move out and get a job (or at the very least pick up after themselves).

DMV Fun

This story starts on my birthday. I was sitting in the car next to Candi. We were driving to Cincinnati. She was mentally preparing me for a statue we were about to see on the side of the freeway when a horrible realization entered my mind. I gasped and grabbed hold of her arm. On a side note: gasping and grabbing someone's arm while they are driving is not a smart thing to do. Thankfully she didn't swerve off the road and end us in a fiery explosion. Anyway, the realization I had was that my license expired that day as I was sitting in Ohio. I gasped because I was certain I wouldn't be able to fly home, especially because the airports were in a code orange (I have no idea what that means, but it sounds ominous). Well, the rest of that story is for another post. The bottom line is that I made it home and, of course, had to make a trip to the DMV. And that visit is where this story takes place.

So I'm sitting there with my two-year-old son, waiting for my number to be called and knowing I was in for a long wait. My son was getting bored and started rifling through my purse. He found my digital camera. I didn't think it was a big deal at first to let him play with it. Not until, that is, he started aiming it at the man sitting two seats down from us. "Don't point it at people," I told him.

"But I want to," he whined.

At this point, the man looked over and said, "He can take my picture." (This was a statement that after five minutes, he probably wished he never made)

My son took no less than twenty pictures of this poor man. The blinding flash probably made him see stars. Each picture he had to personally show the man, who pretended to be excited. He truly was a good sport, but after picture twenty I was feeling more than embarrassed. Finally, I pried the camera from my son's little hands and shoved it into my purse. He cried and cried. Then he went to my purse and started searching for it. He immediately stopped crying when he spotted something else. Pulling them from my purse he screamed, "Look, it's my underwear," and promptly showed them to the man.

I will include some pics of the man so you can see the extent of my embarrassment:






Oh, and the statue I saw on the side of the road with Candi:

It's HUGE. Now you see why she had to mentally prepare me.

Wednesday Reviews

When I was visiting Candi in Ohio, I mentioned that we saw a charming (and perhaps a little creepy) movie by the name of The Vampire's Assistant. I enjoyed it so much that after watching the movie we went to the book store and I decided to buy the books. The movie is based on the first three books in the series and comes in a large volume bearing the same name as the movie. The boy who plays Darren in the movie is adorable. He was such a good actor. The movie definitely has the correct rating--PG 13. It has some disturbing elements (after all it's about a freak show as well as vampires).

The books, however, (at least the first 3) I've already let my 11 year old start reading. I really enjoyed them. They are middle grade, but I liked them a lot. I've recently started writing a middle grade novel, so reading these books came at a good time for me.




The first book introduces us to the world of the Cirque Du Freak. It's full of bizarre and freakish characters. And Darren with his subtly reckless personality gets into some big trouble.








Book 2 is all about Darren's struggle trying to come to terms with a life he wouldn't have chosen for himself. He's faced with some tough choices that bring moments of both tension and heartbreak.









In Book 3 Darren is fully immersed in his new life and taking control of that life. He's more deliberate and growing as a character. And we're introduced to many new facts about the world the author has built.




Like I said, I enjoyed the books. They do have a bit of violence, blood, gore, and freakish elements. So if your children are on the squeamish side, these books might not be for them. And again, I don't know how the series progresses after book 3, but I'm excited to find out. The books were quite a bit different from the movie too. They had the same premise, but not the same way of illustrating the elements of the world or of the characters. It did have the same general feel, though.

Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice-Traumatizing Children

Imagine if you will a family (mine) gathered together on a Monday night watching a film that talks of the "hidden dangers" in the world. To illustrate the point a metaphor of a crocodile hiding in various mud-filled watering holes is used. My 2 year old squeals with delight when he sees the crocodile (he loves crocodiles). "Look, mom, it's a crocodile!" The narrator's voice is calm and soothing while various animals drink from the water. Most are skittish, always looking around, always wary of the dangers lurking. The crocodile is creeping ever closer. My son is giggling. I'm smiling because it's such a fun, nature-filled video that the kids are enjoying. Then a family of elk begin drinking and the crocodile is moving in, the narrator's voice is even calmer, one by one the family of elk see the crocodile and pull away from the water. The only one left is the smaller one and SNAP the crocodile grabs him and pulls him into the water. I jump. My son's smile vanishes, replaced by a wide open mouth. My head whips towards my husband (who has seen the video and thought the kids would enjoy it). My son begins screaming, "SCARY CROCODILE!" My husband says, "Oh, uh, yeah, didn't think about the fact that it would scare him." Big tears are streaming down my son's face as he continues to whimper, "bad crocodile."

So, if you were wondering how to traumatize a two-year old, this works well. I can loan you the video. Or how about you just show up to the church Halloween party dressed like this:



That works too. Several children wouldn't get out of their cars when they saw Jared dressed like this. It doesn't help that he's 6'8" . He looked like death walking.

What about you? Have you traumatized any children lately? I'd love to hear how you do it.

No NaNo for me, but how about....

Okay, so first of all, Happy Halloween. I love this holiday. Endless amounts of candy accompanied by creatures from the crypt just makes me smile. If you want to attend a rockin' Halloween blog party, head on over to my friend Natalie's blog. I'll be in and out of her party all day, I'm sure.

Now, onto business. I'm not doing Nano. Why? Because I don't need to be more obsessive about writing than I already am. If anything I need a contest that helps me become less obsessed. My friend, Linda, was discussing this same thought on her blog and we decided that if there were a contest that forced us to clean house instead of write, we would be inclined to participate. Well, we thought, why not make one? Tricia jumped on this bandwagon as well. So for the month of November we will be participating in National Housecleaning Month (NaHoCleMo). If you'd like to join us in our quest to make our lives slightly more balanced (and clean) grab a widget (click on the one on the left sidebar to take you to the instructions of how to use) and join the party.

The Rules:

We will be working in minutes, not hours. I set my goal for 5,000 for the month (if this number sounds too easy for you, feel free to up your goal. It sounds like a mountain to me, especially since I'll be out of town for 10 days in November. If it sounds too hard, feel free to make it less. Just a goal is what we're looking for. Something that will help us get away from our computers for a little while and give our poor, neglected houses some attention).

*Laundry counts when it applies to folding, loading, or putting away, but not the actual washer/dryer cycle.

*Cleaning up after dinner preparation counts, as well as loading the dishwasher, and putting away dishes, but not the actual dishwasher running time.

*And of course every other house cleaning venture. (making beds, vacuuming, scrubbing tile [I'm reminding myself what cleaning is, I'm sure you already know])

You may not include in total minutes:

*Trips to the grocery store

*Baking goodies

*Eating (even though this might seem like a chore when in the midst of writing a chapter)

*Writing (of course does not count, shame on me for already wishing it did)


Sounds like fun, yeah? And for those of you participating in NaNo, good luck, I'm excited to track your progress.

Follow Friday

Last time I did follow friday, I featured my nemesis, Jessie (who I secretly think is awesome but don't tell her because we've vowed to plot each other's destruction for the remainder of our lives). So this time, I thought it only fitting, to feature my BFF, Candice. Candi recently switched from wordpress to blogspot and she's lacking in blog love.

What can I say about Candi? Well, she is my best friend so that alone should tell you a lot about her. Namely that she might be bordering on crazy and highly lacking in good judgement. But it also tells you that she's charitable and patient. :) This is a girl who is brave enough to turn around in a theatre and tell the scary thugs behind us to be quiet (and give them the stare down when they continue to talk) but who screams out loud at a scary preview in the theatre (so loud that the other patrons laughed). If you're lucky enough to have her as a beta, you'll know why I consider her my secret weapon in writing. And now I finally get to return the favor and read her first book--Wahoo! (It's soooo good). I could go on for multiple paragraphs of mushiness about how much I love this girl. But why not just hop on over to her blog and see for yourself. And while you're over there, give her a follow.

Wednesday Reviews

As I've said before, when I travel, I read. And since, once again, I had two full days of traveling, I got to read quite a bit. I read a few authors that have been around for a while but I have never read. I was kind of shocked, actually, when I realized I had never read anything by Shannon Hale. Nothing. So I picked up one of her more recent novels and got to work.


This was such a cute book. It's one of those that while you're reading you find yourself smiling a lot. Often I feel like a dork when I do this, especially on an airplane. But most of the time I don't care.

I also tried one of Sarah Dessen's books and was very entertained. Real life (and of course when I say "real life" I mean fictional) teen drama? I didn't realize it existed. I thought all teen books were fantasy these days. Just kidding, of course. I've just been reading (and writing) a lot of teen fantasy.



Sarah Dessen does a great job creating emotion in the reader without telling me how to feel. I had some very strong emotions as I read this book. And not one of them was one she told me I should be having. In other words, her character never said, "I am feeling very angry or frustrated right now." (or whatever other emotions she had me feeling) I'll definitely have to pick up another one of hers. She has quite a few.

And in other news, my agent is back! Was that the longest maternity leave you've ever had to wait through? Yeah, me too. So, now she's reading one of my other books that I asked her to (I couldn't decide which one to start submission with) and depending on which one she chooses, we should be going out into the world of publishers in the next few weeks. I'm excited.